April 3, 2005
March 22, 2005
A deep thought
I am writing this mail just for myself. What really counts is the act of writing. I really have nobody to send it to. I think it's all true. It's actually starts very simple. Marked by the joy of birth, there is only one path to follow. Everybody does it - matures. Right or wrong, good or bad is secondary. I forget my simpler start, but I remember my simple evolution. No needs, no pains. Basic love and affection. Parents, brothers, friends - that is all that matter. The little joy of a gift (like the scrabble game I got on my birthday) or the little jealousy of missing out on love (like my brother got a the pen for his), and then all that slowly vanish - making way for the new joys and pains, still small and simple.
It is still there. Just that it is lying at that corner, crouching to make space for the bigger brother - ever hungry to eat up more space. Hungry of ambition, of money, of power or self esteem. Do I care? I am of course better than the boy who comes in the morning to deliver my paper. I do not have to wake up so early - even before the street lights are out. Isn't that at least one reason to be happy about? That the world has given me a little more than so many others (a couple of billions to start my count). Just a little reason to say I already have more, why do I need so much? So much, that I can't even handle. Making my life complicated and intertwined with the chains of desire and failures...
Simple living... simple thinking... simplicity in action and thought... and without sounding poetic, getting the joys back from childhood... no mobile phone, no digital camera, no fancy shoes, no car, no bike, no expensive vacations, no flashy parties, no pubs, no discotheques, no "girlfriend"... but the things that really matter - kiss from my mom, hug from my brother, night out on the roof with friends... and giving back all that's calling me... giving back to the people I have taken it from... and reaching out beyond my own little world that hurts, since I am sometimes so alone...
Everybody hurts. you are not alone - REM
It is still there. Just that it is lying at that corner, crouching to make space for the bigger brother - ever hungry to eat up more space. Hungry of ambition, of money, of power or self esteem. Do I care? I am of course better than the boy who comes in the morning to deliver my paper. I do not have to wake up so early - even before the street lights are out. Isn't that at least one reason to be happy about? That the world has given me a little more than so many others (a couple of billions to start my count). Just a little reason to say I already have more, why do I need so much? So much, that I can't even handle. Making my life complicated and intertwined with the chains of desire and failures...
Simple living... simple thinking... simplicity in action and thought... and without sounding poetic, getting the joys back from childhood... no mobile phone, no digital camera, no fancy shoes, no car, no bike, no expensive vacations, no flashy parties, no pubs, no discotheques, no "girlfriend"... but the things that really matter - kiss from my mom, hug from my brother, night out on the roof with friends... and giving back all that's calling me... giving back to the people I have taken it from... and reaching out beyond my own little world that hurts, since I am sometimes so alone...
Everybody hurts. you are not alone - REM
January 30, 2005
The Pox Chronicles - Day 1
Pox Chronicles - Day 1
It started with mild fever. And much like believing this is indeed the season, I had no doubt that I was another vanquished victim of the flu. But surprises are a part of life. Quite like an alien-abducted and forsaken sonofabitch, I was appalled when I found these jelly-filled red sightings on my skin. Something like tiny 'fruitioning' beasts coming out from the within. (Damn! I always knew they had the smallest gestation period!) Later, a little web-surfing, and it didn't take much time to figure out that I was actually beaten by the more earthly pox.
In fact I was more excited than depressed. Every spring since-I-don't-know-when I was being painfully careful not to catch this infection. Finally today freedom is calling. They say that the disease is self-vaccinating – you could have it only once. And I was also happy since I didn't have much work at office anyways. Not a better time to be at home and "enjoy" the rest, I thought. Well well, don't get me wrong. I know there is a flip side of this: acute infection – like liquid-filled blisters popping up in the eyes as one of my friends mentioned. And that is apprehension. I love when they talk of "living today". I was living today- enjoying, surfing, writing, watching dvds and calling up people. No office tomorrow, the day after and for the entire week!
Let's see how long and how far this goes!
Popup stats: count-15, spread-upper body, irritation-minimal, pain-zero.
Mood: Anticipation
January 29, 2005
My Experiences Having Run This Far
PART 1
"No Games. Just Sports". On the billboard.
The Nike ad and the girl running all by herself on the stretch of the winding road. That was all the inspiration. Simple. No technique, no equipment and no co-players. Simple and plain strides: straight and ahead. And I started off on the treadmill - a little unsure about the roads and the traffic. Day one took me quite some effort and a couple of demoralizing breaks to complete a 2 km run. As a beginner I was trying to inadvertently run fast. The pull from the other end of the stretch to complete and get done was undeniable. The promise of the small and simple personal accomplishment was strong.
And I never looked back. What started off as a cry for breath is now largely driven by the power of the will. From the "can I do this distance?" question to the "yes I can" answer. The road had been albeit quite usual with the share of ups and downs, joys and pains. Every run in the beginning was tough. At the end of the 2-3km stretch, the fatigue in the lungs were undeniable. Even the great desire to increase the distance could not propel me further enough. But that was the beginning. And the learning had begun.
Every body has a pace. You run, and you have to know your pace. You beat it, the need for oxygen would force you to slow down. I was happy when I got my pace. I used to run for about 15 to 20 minutes at 10kmph. Not too bad I thought . And I had quickly picked this technique of stretching me further. After this usual run when I would exhaust my ration of air, I used to speed up, to about 15 or 17 kmph. And continue for a minute or so, till I was just "out". This way I was training my lungs to start using the unused capacity that we know of. And it was paying off. From the 3 to 4km run, I managed to advance to 6 km in 30mins in about 4 months time. That's long, but that is due to the share of pain that I had to bear on the way.
I have this feeling that every amateur runner has his/her share of pain and injury. For that matter, every sportsperson has it. After my initial treadmill days (or weeks), I was looking out for something real. Road running was real. For quite a few reasons, this is always more challenging. The air resistance and varying gradients need an extra effort to overcome. Added to that, the forces on the knees are always greater than on the treadmill due to the stronger asphalt impact. And what I still dread is the unevenness of the road surface, along and sometimes even across the path. As the stride begins, it is very important to have the right pose during impact. First the heel, next the toe. Never the other way round. Our heels are naturally cushioned to absorb the forces of impact and transfer it to the shinbone and upwards. Landing on the toe delivers extreme and sudden pull on the tendons causing ligament shear or even rupture. This set right, there is a further risk of landing with a tilted foot. The lateral-collateral-ligament (LCL) controls the foot during a foot-rolling move. In the situation of a slant-foot impact (which is known as pronation), the LCL is suddenly stretched with the risk of injury. So it is important to control pronation during running. And you can’t do that when the road has a natural banking or lateral-unevenness! That's when (my first lesson) a good-pair of running shoes comes to the rescue.
It is quite difficult to find the right running shoe. Though hard to believe, it took me three weeks of scouting the websites and running to the stores to find one. I had hurt my LCL. I used to get the distinctive LCL pain on the outside of my left knee during a run. I had ignored it and ran further, quite badly aggravating it to a position where I had to stop running and go to a doctor. A month's rest and my second lesson followed: never ignore a pain. But I was lucky it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. The month of sitting idle was hard, but the will was growing extremely fast. And at the end of the wait, equipped with a strong shoe and a stronger will, I was back on the track.
In fact I was back on the treadmill. By this time my stamina had grown and a month's rest had rebuilt and re-energized my leg muscles. This time I was making progress faster. At every point where I would be exhausted and think I could not carry on, I would ask a simple question to myself. Am I really so tired that I have to f***in stop? No I wasn't. And I would go on. 15mins…20mins…25mins…30mins…36mins…45mins. I was running longer and longer. In another three months time I was running faster, at 12.5 kmph, and longer, covering 8 to 10km in one go. And I was delighted. My other lessons came along. Eating well, drinking great and not having long runs everyday to allow my muscles to recover. And once I had done a 10(km), doing it the next time was easier. Since I already believed that I could do it.
This was also the time I went for the Terry Fox Run for Cancer. The cause was very close to my heart. The story of Terry Fox was even more inspiring. It was a 4km run on a stretch of road and was not a race. My speed-training on the treadmill paid off. I managed to keep good pace for all the 4 kilometers and ended up about fourth overall, quite to my surprise! To rejoice, I ran all the way back home which was about 7km. The NCC cadets positioned at the corners to show directions were a little confused when I ignored their calls and went straight ahead at the turning. Little they knew that I had done my round and was now celebrating! I ran a total 11km that day, my longest so far, and I made it.
PART 2
I registered for the Mumbai Marathon in November. Since I was already doing 8km with good regularity, I wanted to stretch for the 21km Half Marathon. Like every runner has this dream of running a marathon someday, I was 8 weeks away from the race-day and ready to give my full to see my dream come true. Three things I felt would make this happen: a strong will, clear focus and consistency in pace and practice. Today I know I was right.
Will is perhaps nothing but the strong inner desire. For me, my will was my fuel – my inner motivation. It said, "Go!" every time I slacked and felt lazy. For many of you who have seen the movie Forrest Gump, you would recall the lines "Run Forrest! Run!" At the end of long stretches whenever I felt down and tired, I would imagine somebody shouting the same to me. And I would keep on moving. I never felt the need for a purpose or occasion to start running. Just the mere act of moving on my legs, and moving fast, would make me happy and contented. I was also slightly amused at times by the strange and curious look on the faces of the people I crossed. From the bare and uncomplicated "Why?" to the more wry and satiric "Which mad-dog has bitten this guy?" (Isse kis pagal kutte ne kata hai?), you would hardly take time to imagine the rest of it. I simply enjoyed watching them on the sly from behind the dark-colored-cover of my running-glasses, a form of parallel-entertainment that I discovered on the way.
Focus, in my opinion, is looking ahead, having a clear vision and ultimately preparing to achieve it. What strongly differentiates regular running from a marathon practice is the clear need of a focus. Stepping up from 10km on the treadmill to a 21km on the regular roads was a big deal for me. And doing that with the purpose in mind, with the right tools and techniques and at the right time was very important to remember and follow. At this point a training calendar proved very useful. It put a structure in my self-training schedule. From the ad-hoc, make-me-feel-happy runs, I shifted to more organized distance planning. The simple rule behind any such training schedule is to run more on a day and take rest on the other. This allows the muscles to recover and revitalize, making them stronger and more powerful over time and less prone to injuries and fatigue. With the known and controlled increases in distance, a good training calendar comes with the promise to take you to your peak-level right before the race. Isn't this something that we would love to have? But this needs to be supplemented by drinking lots of water and eating high-calorie food. Before and after a long run, the process of carrying glucose to the muscles and clearing up all the burnt calories is purely assisted by water. Without the right amount of fluid in the body the risks of muscle-cramps and recovery-pain become quite pronounced. The other element that helps reduce such pain is proper stretching, both before and after the run. If you already do some amount of running, you would perhaps be familiar with shin-splits. During the initial days of my training, this would force me off the track. But with a simple and wonderful calf-stretch that I came across later, I succeeded in reducing that drastically. So much so that I do not get them any more now, even after a long run.
But long runs in good time are never easy. Consistency, in pace and practice are equally important. As I have already mentioned, maintaining the right pace is critical for finishing in good time. Running fast is physically exhausting and taking breaks during such long runs is mentally devastating. Every time I felt like stopping and taking a break, I just let myself carry on. Motivation or the will took me there. Today I have done a 21km without stopping at all. And more than my speed, my pace made it happen. I hope you are clear about the difference between the two. Consistency in practice comes from focus. Setting an objective for a week and achieving it for all of 8 weeks played a crucial role. There was no "overdoing next time" to make up for a lost day. It doesn't help. And thankfully, the weather was always good enough to allow me run every time I wanted to.
Finally, after two months of intensive training, stretching every bit physically and mentally, living with the fear of getting injured before the race and all through, dreaming the dream, I was there in Mumbai. My real target was completing the race. My dream was doing that in less than 2 hours. I was at my peak. Mentally I was charged up, looking forward to the finish line. Physically I was aroused - let the flag roll and let me start. I had boosted up my calorie and water intake the previous day. Agile, aggressive and fully engaged, I could barely wait!
I ran! Throughout the 21km all I could see was the finish line. I was living up to this dream for the last one year. The heat, the crowd, the co-runners and the time-car – nothing made a difference, now that I was running. The cheer gave me that extra thrust, required since I was now running beyond my pace. After about 2 hours I found the finish line and the magic clock read "01:56:30". I felt as if nothing in this world could stop me now! A final 200m dash and I was living my dream. I completed and in 1:57:15 time – and that's below 2 hours!! Excited? Nay, exhilarated! I was happy as happy I could be.
For one thing I realized at that moment - my mind was there at the finish line way back in November. It just took me a while to reach physically!
Happy running!
"No Games. Just Sports". On the billboard.
The Nike ad and the girl running all by herself on the stretch of the winding road. That was all the inspiration. Simple. No technique, no equipment and no co-players. Simple and plain strides: straight and ahead. And I started off on the treadmill - a little unsure about the roads and the traffic. Day one took me quite some effort and a couple of demoralizing breaks to complete a 2 km run. As a beginner I was trying to inadvertently run fast. The pull from the other end of the stretch to complete and get done was undeniable. The promise of the small and simple personal accomplishment was strong.
And I never looked back. What started off as a cry for breath is now largely driven by the power of the will. From the "can I do this distance?" question to the "yes I can" answer. The road had been albeit quite usual with the share of ups and downs, joys and pains. Every run in the beginning was tough. At the end of the 2-3km stretch, the fatigue in the lungs were undeniable. Even the great desire to increase the distance could not propel me further enough. But that was the beginning. And the learning had begun.
Every body has a pace. You run, and you have to know your pace. You beat it, the need for oxygen would force you to slow down. I was happy when I got my pace. I used to run for about 15 to 20 minutes at 10kmph. Not too bad I thought . And I had quickly picked this technique of stretching me further. After this usual run when I would exhaust my ration of air, I used to speed up, to about 15 or 17 kmph. And continue for a minute or so, till I was just "out". This way I was training my lungs to start using the unused capacity that we know of. And it was paying off. From the 3 to 4km run, I managed to advance to 6 km in 30mins in about 4 months time. That's long, but that is due to the share of pain that I had to bear on the way.
I have this feeling that every amateur runner has his/her share of pain and injury. For that matter, every sportsperson has it. After my initial treadmill days (or weeks), I was looking out for something real. Road running was real. For quite a few reasons, this is always more challenging. The air resistance and varying gradients need an extra effort to overcome. Added to that, the forces on the knees are always greater than on the treadmill due to the stronger asphalt impact. And what I still dread is the unevenness of the road surface, along and sometimes even across the path. As the stride begins, it is very important to have the right pose during impact. First the heel, next the toe. Never the other way round. Our heels are naturally cushioned to absorb the forces of impact and transfer it to the shinbone and upwards. Landing on the toe delivers extreme and sudden pull on the tendons causing ligament shear or even rupture. This set right, there is a further risk of landing with a tilted foot. The lateral-collateral-ligament (LCL) controls the foot during a foot-rolling move. In the situation of a slant-foot impact (which is known as pronation), the LCL is suddenly stretched with the risk of injury. So it is important to control pronation during running. And you can’t do that when the road has a natural banking or lateral-unevenness! That's when (my first lesson) a good-pair of running shoes comes to the rescue.
It is quite difficult to find the right running shoe. Though hard to believe, it took me three weeks of scouting the websites and running to the stores to find one. I had hurt my LCL. I used to get the distinctive LCL pain on the outside of my left knee during a run. I had ignored it and ran further, quite badly aggravating it to a position where I had to stop running and go to a doctor. A month's rest and my second lesson followed: never ignore a pain. But I was lucky it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. The month of sitting idle was hard, but the will was growing extremely fast. And at the end of the wait, equipped with a strong shoe and a stronger will, I was back on the track.
In fact I was back on the treadmill. By this time my stamina had grown and a month's rest had rebuilt and re-energized my leg muscles. This time I was making progress faster. At every point where I would be exhausted and think I could not carry on, I would ask a simple question to myself. Am I really so tired that I have to f***in stop? No I wasn't. And I would go on. 15mins…20mins…25mins…30mins…36mins…45mins. I was running longer and longer. In another three months time I was running faster, at 12.5 kmph, and longer, covering 8 to 10km in one go. And I was delighted. My other lessons came along. Eating well, drinking great and not having long runs everyday to allow my muscles to recover. And once I had done a 10(km), doing it the next time was easier. Since I already believed that I could do it.
This was also the time I went for the Terry Fox Run for Cancer. The cause was very close to my heart. The story of Terry Fox was even more inspiring. It was a 4km run on a stretch of road and was not a race. My speed-training on the treadmill paid off. I managed to keep good pace for all the 4 kilometers and ended up about fourth overall, quite to my surprise! To rejoice, I ran all the way back home which was about 7km. The NCC cadets positioned at the corners to show directions were a little confused when I ignored their calls and went straight ahead at the turning. Little they knew that I had done my round and was now celebrating! I ran a total 11km that day, my longest so far, and I made it.
PART 2
I registered for the Mumbai Marathon in November. Since I was already doing 8km with good regularity, I wanted to stretch for the 21km Half Marathon. Like every runner has this dream of running a marathon someday, I was 8 weeks away from the race-day and ready to give my full to see my dream come true. Three things I felt would make this happen: a strong will, clear focus and consistency in pace and practice. Today I know I was right.
Will is perhaps nothing but the strong inner desire. For me, my will was my fuel – my inner motivation. It said, "Go!" every time I slacked and felt lazy. For many of you who have seen the movie Forrest Gump, you would recall the lines "Run Forrest! Run!" At the end of long stretches whenever I felt down and tired, I would imagine somebody shouting the same to me. And I would keep on moving. I never felt the need for a purpose or occasion to start running. Just the mere act of moving on my legs, and moving fast, would make me happy and contented. I was also slightly amused at times by the strange and curious look on the faces of the people I crossed. From the bare and uncomplicated "Why?" to the more wry and satiric "Which mad-dog has bitten this guy?" (Isse kis pagal kutte ne kata hai?), you would hardly take time to imagine the rest of it. I simply enjoyed watching them on the sly from behind the dark-colored-cover of my running-glasses, a form of parallel-entertainment that I discovered on the way.
Focus, in my opinion, is looking ahead, having a clear vision and ultimately preparing to achieve it. What strongly differentiates regular running from a marathon practice is the clear need of a focus. Stepping up from 10km on the treadmill to a 21km on the regular roads was a big deal for me. And doing that with the purpose in mind, with the right tools and techniques and at the right time was very important to remember and follow. At this point a training calendar proved very useful. It put a structure in my self-training schedule. From the ad-hoc, make-me-feel-happy runs, I shifted to more organized distance planning. The simple rule behind any such training schedule is to run more on a day and take rest on the other. This allows the muscles to recover and revitalize, making them stronger and more powerful over time and less prone to injuries and fatigue. With the known and controlled increases in distance, a good training calendar comes with the promise to take you to your peak-level right before the race. Isn't this something that we would love to have? But this needs to be supplemented by drinking lots of water and eating high-calorie food. Before and after a long run, the process of carrying glucose to the muscles and clearing up all the burnt calories is purely assisted by water. Without the right amount of fluid in the body the risks of muscle-cramps and recovery-pain become quite pronounced. The other element that helps reduce such pain is proper stretching, both before and after the run. If you already do some amount of running, you would perhaps be familiar with shin-splits. During the initial days of my training, this would force me off the track. But with a simple and wonderful calf-stretch that I came across later, I succeeded in reducing that drastically. So much so that I do not get them any more now, even after a long run.
But long runs in good time are never easy. Consistency, in pace and practice are equally important. As I have already mentioned, maintaining the right pace is critical for finishing in good time. Running fast is physically exhausting and taking breaks during such long runs is mentally devastating. Every time I felt like stopping and taking a break, I just let myself carry on. Motivation or the will took me there. Today I have done a 21km without stopping at all. And more than my speed, my pace made it happen. I hope you are clear about the difference between the two. Consistency in practice comes from focus. Setting an objective for a week and achieving it for all of 8 weeks played a crucial role. There was no "overdoing next time" to make up for a lost day. It doesn't help. And thankfully, the weather was always good enough to allow me run every time I wanted to.
Finally, after two months of intensive training, stretching every bit physically and mentally, living with the fear of getting injured before the race and all through, dreaming the dream, I was there in Mumbai. My real target was completing the race. My dream was doing that in less than 2 hours. I was at my peak. Mentally I was charged up, looking forward to the finish line. Physically I was aroused - let the flag roll and let me start. I had boosted up my calorie and water intake the previous day. Agile, aggressive and fully engaged, I could barely wait!
I ran! Throughout the 21km all I could see was the finish line. I was living up to this dream for the last one year. The heat, the crowd, the co-runners and the time-car – nothing made a difference, now that I was running. The cheer gave me that extra thrust, required since I was now running beyond my pace. After about 2 hours I found the finish line and the magic clock read "01:56:30". I felt as if nothing in this world could stop me now! A final 200m dash and I was living my dream. I completed and in 1:57:15 time – and that's below 2 hours!! Excited? Nay, exhilarated! I was happy as happy I could be.
For one thing I realized at that moment - my mind was there at the finish line way back in November. It just took me a while to reach physically!
Happy running!
January 3, 2005
Foreword
My first attempt at blogging my life and experiences. I intend to write mostly on my musings, things about life, about the importance of living it like I/you want to... and maybe a little about my travel and trek experiences that have always made me wiser and taught me to live a simpler life. And at least made me try to identify the people and things that really matter; from the clutter of this that does not...
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